Yesterday, at the gym, a song that reminds me of my wedding popped on my ipod. The song was “It’s a Beautiful Day” by U2. It reminds me of my wedding because it was the song that we selected to play when we were announced into our wedding reception. While our first dance song was not really something we were very attached to, we were attached to this song. We picked it months before and I listened to it often in the months leading up to out wedding. Both E and I consider it “our song” (if we actually even have a song). When my ipod started to play the first few notes yesterday, I immediately started to cry and quickly changed the song, not wanting to cry fully at the gym (mind you, I tear up at the gym often, there is something about work outs that does that to me). I don’t want to lose my husband.
** I posted this pic before, but here it is again. It is one of the only shots I have scanned that is obscure enough to not really show either of our faces, but you can see that E is smiling at me and I look like I am laughing..... It is probably from the moment right after that song played***
***On another note, as graduate of Penn State University, I am so saddened by the events that have occurred at my beloved university over the past few weeks. This article captures my sentiments exactly. I am sending lots of healing thoughts to Happy Valley......
http://www.usatodayeducate.com/staging/index.php/ccp/opinion-we-are-penn-state-we-will-rise-above-this
** I posted this pic before, but here it is again. It is one of the only shots I have scanned that is obscure enough to not really show either of our faces, but you can see that E is smiling at me and I look like I am laughing..... It is probably from the moment right after that song played***
***On another note, as graduate of Penn State University, I am so saddened by the events that have occurred at my beloved university over the past few weeks. This article captures my sentiments exactly. I am sending lots of healing thoughts to Happy Valley......
http://www.usatodayeducate.com/staging/index.php/ccp/opinion-we-are-penn-state-we-will-rise-above-this



Oh C. I am teary-eyed reading your post. That is such a beautiful picture from your wedding. That venue is spectacular!
ReplyDeleteIf you don't want to lose E, I guess the only thing left to do is to fight for your marriage. Please keep us posted. I think of you often. <3
Beautiful picture and song :) Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteGod, I'm so, so sorry you're going through this. I'm hoping you guys can pull through this together. I know he's doing work, so I'm just praying that he gets to a place that's more helpful. Sending you love and strength! Take good care of yourself!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that after all the loss infertility brings us that your marriage is threatened. I encourage you to not give up...thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteOh and what a beautiful photo!
Like PPs, this post made me teary-eyed. I cannot imagine the pain that you must be feeling during this time of a lot of unknowns.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you...
Aww, I'm sorry, C.
ReplyDeleteI am so rooting for you two over here. I just really want this to work out for you in all ways. That E will come around and you two will be stronger for it.
ReplyDeleteI'm also very sad about the Penn State fiasco..
Thinking of you and sending hugs.
ReplyDeleteLove the picture. And had no idea you were a PSU grad. Keeping you and E in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI know that feeling....thinking about you hun. xo
ReplyDeleteLove conquers all, as cheesy as it sounds, it's true. Keep faith. <3
ReplyDeleteSuch an amazing song... and you both look so happy. Hopefully there is a way through this journey for you together... my heart is with you xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm also keeping faith... I know infertility puts you to hell, but it also makes you stronger.
ReplyDeleteIt sucks when your alma mater is associated to a sad event. I hope this does not affect you.
I don't want you to lose your husband, either. I am so hoping something gives so that you guys can move forward, as parents, together.
ReplyDeleteHugs!!! I hope you two can work it out somehow. We will all be here for you. <3
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're having such a tough time...I really hope that your love for one another will carry you through. Sorry that sounds so trite, but at the end of the day not wanting to lose the other person is what keeps things together. Hang in there, we are all thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteEndorphins work for shit at the gym when it is this heavy. Much love.
ReplyDeleteYou guys look so happy. I am glad you can still see it.
Oh my dear, I'm sending you big huge hugs and hopes that you and E can find a way through this. We ae here for you, holding your hand.
ReplyDeleteI followed your blog cos of the title but never got around to reading your post till now. I have an ache in my heart as i read. I know you try to smile through it all but the pain shines through. Dear it is going to be alright with you and E. Please dont give up on your desires for your self in your marriage. Please check my blog, read my story if it is any consolation to you. You can win this battle for a child and with E by your side and none other. http://ibinike.blogspot.com. My story is also featured on http://9jamom.com/page/9ja-mom-real-stories
ReplyDeleteHaven't see you in awhile - thinking of you my friend. <3 Hugs and love
ReplyDeleteBeen checking on you lots. Hope you are doing okay. Please let us know how you are when you have a chance.
ReplyDeletejust wanted to stop by and say i'm thinking of you. because i am. hang in there.
ReplyDeletemo